I am on a quest to create the smallest glass bottle of all time. I’ve seen some pretty tiny ones in my time, but I want to go smaller. There’s just something about holding the record that gets me going. I would revel in the glory of designing the most fiddly and difficult contraption of all time, and I would make it small enough that no one would ever be able to replicate it.
I’ve done so many hours of research that my brain is constantly filled with little glass figurines. I know the mechanics. I know which Melbourne glazier I’ll be getting in contact with to help bring my project to life. The glass bottle will be so small that a five cent piece won’t fit inside it. The only thing the bottle will fit will be a tiny piece of paper with a message of glory inscribed in it. The tiny note will read “You are holding the world’s smallest glass bottle” in very small writing. It will be epic.
The bottle will be so impressive that all glass bottle enthusiasts will be begging to purchase one. The time and skill that has gone into creating and designing the bottle will mean that it costs upwards of $10,000, but it will be worth it to have a stake in the tiniest glass bottle collection of all time.
For this endeavour to succeed, I will need a repair serviceman on hand. I’m sure there will be many occasions where the bottle is too fiddly and slips out of the talented glazier’s hand. I’m also sure that the lucky few who are able to purchase the tiny glass bottle will crack it at some point. They will need the number for a glass repair service that is capable of dealing with such a small object. It will be provided alongside each bottle purchased.
The importance of this project is off the charts. It will not only revolutionise the glass bottle industry, but make me famous in the process… I can’t wait to get started.
I’m signing off now. It’s time to walk up my newly glass balustrade stairs and go to bed. Big day of researching tomorrow.