Oxygen, for Health and General Amusement

portable hyperbaric chambersAs much as I do not envy our live-in psychologist, at least I still visit him on occasion to make sure he has SOMETHING to do. Psychologists always make for interesting enough conversations partners. And when Percy is off in the office, the children are at school or with their tutors and the servants and workmen have been properly directed to their tasks, sometimes I still have some time left.

Not so for our physician, consigned as she is to the medical wing in the easternmost corner of the mansion. The Clanceys are famously hale and hearty from years of excellent breeding and plenty of money to start every day, so we never fall ill. We just needed that insurance, and all the other rich families have them.

Still, I remain fascinated in this trend of people having hyperbaric chambers for hire in Melbourne, and I suppose beyond. I keep saying to Percy that we need to get some oxygen therapy chambers installed, just for the experience and perhaps for the continued health of the live-in staff. Elliaphelia from two mansions over just had them installed after her husband got a cold- imagine, something so common!- and he was having a bit of difficulty both breathing and smoking at the same time. Percy has never been interested in cigars like many of those in his various Gentlemen’s Clubs, although I’m sure he could down them with no real ill effects if he so desired.

Still, oxygen therapy just sounds so exciting, and quite good for you. Maybe after I’ve been on the cardio machines I can step inside and catch my breath, or…I don’t know. Just the thought of Melbourne’s best portable hyperbaric chambers being part of our medical repertoire just appeals to me, on a completionist level. We have all the other technology, such as the MRI machine, incubation chamber, x-ray machine and the physician to operate them. Oxygen therapy might just complete the set.


Healthy Body and Healthy Mind

psychiatry MorningtonI really do feel sorry for our in-house psychiatrist. The Clancey family are famously sound in both body AND mind, so he doesn’t really get to do very much. Sometimes I like to think I’ll go along and fake some kind of steady, psychotic breakdown, just so he’s not twiddling his thumbs. Still, he gets the bi-annual checkup for each of us, so that’s a grand total of two hours of work per year. Heaven knows how he manages to entertain himself.

I suppose it all stems back in time to when our family was gaining business success. Of course, our family’s first mansion was in Mornington, where the Clanceys first came to Australia. Great Grandfather Harrington made liberal use of this new-fangled profession of psychiatry, practices in Mornington having been set up a few years prior. People turned up their noses and thought little of it, but Great Grandfather Harrington bought into the idea of good mental health, and it’s placed us in good standing over our competitors ever since.

It was he who established a routine for good mental health: half an hour per day of discussing and reflecting on the day’s events, and half an hour of some serious self-talk of a positive nature. Everyone thought it was old toffee, and his business competitors spent all of their time making money from morning to night. Well…when they reached their limit and burned our, Great Grandfather Harrington was taking the advice of his personal psychiatrist and working into the hours of the morning, brain unfettered by cares and worries.

Such a great shame he forgot to go to the doctor had a retire shortly before his death due to exhaustion, but his mind was doing just fine right up until the end. Now we have an in-house doctor as well…obviously. Regardless of our peerless mental health, we must still remember that humble calling of psychology around Mornington. If only we could buy out the entire business. Alas, medicine retains certain privileges that place them above such things, and it’s probably for the best.

-Percival Clancey VI

We Shall Soon Have a Dry Needler in the House

I’ve always thought that we need MORE live-in servants. For whatever reason, it doesn’t seem to be a popular option with many of our friends, even if they started doing thing we way we did. So many of them, letting their servants go HOME at the end of the day. I wouldn’t dream of such a thing, if I can allow it; not for the most essential servants. Oh, perhaps I can tolerate the gardener going back to his family, but the cook? The maid who starts the fires? They simply must be here, at all times. I can’t abide the thought of ringing the bell in my room and receiving no answer. And without Dr Smith, our resident medical professional, how would I have peace of mind?

He’s a pillar of Whitehall Chapel, Smithe. Oh, and we’re sending him off to a dry needling course in New Zealand quite soon, which I’m VERY excited about. Last time Anastasia came around for tea and chats, she mentioned this dry needling thing which I honestly hadn’t heard of at all. A little odd, because when it comes to cutting-edge ways to relax the body and mind, I’m usually quite up to date. Anyway, she said it was big news and that she’d already sent HER resident doctor along on a course so he could learn dry needling. I already made sure Smithe was up to date on hyperbaric medicine, as well as that whole ‘cupping’ affair, although that turned out to just be a massive waste of time. Also, it left you very unsightly.

In any case, I can’t wait for him to return and share his knowledge with the rest of us. I do so like dabbling in new things, even if they’re quite beyond my understanding. Ooh, perhaps I can look in on this dry needling course and learn a thing or two. Things have been rather quiet round the house since Percy agreed to let the in-house brass band go home for the weekend. I’d looked forward to a concert, but I suppose I could fill my time elsewhere.


Oxygen to Cure the Breathing Problems

healing oxygen therapyI was channel surfing today, which I usually do right after lunch when I’m a bit tired from playing croquet with the girls or taking a helicopter tour. We just bought the deluxe gold platinum ultra shiny premium plus package, so we have ALL the channels and sometimes surfing through them all can take an entire afternoon. I mean, really. It’s time-consuming!

Sometimes I get stuck on something I find interesting, most often the animal channel but today the health channel. I saw something and just KNEW that we had to get one for the mansion. Maybe two! Oxygen therapy in Melbourne is taking off, and I know because a fellow in a white coat said so, on the TV no less. They don’t let people on TV unless they’re trustworthy; that’s what Vera said! Anyway, this oxygen thing just involves sitting in a glass box thing and getting healthy. Now, I love the treadmill, don’t get me wrong. But I need to look into this oxygen therapy thing, because no matter what mode I select, I always end up SO out of breath. What if I could get more breath? More breath would be nice.

Ooh, and I just picked up yoga! I do wonder, what are the chances of being able to hop inside your hyperbaric chamber thingy and do some yoga moves? My personal yoga teacher is from Albajeria and he’s SO harsh. I’m ending up totally exhausted with all that stretching, and he just tuts and says I’m not trying hard enough. If I had an oxygen chamber…well, I’d never be out of breath!

I’ll have to look it up on the computer machine, or have Sebastian do it for me because that thing baffles me! There must be somewhere in Melbourne that does hyperbaric chambers who’ll make one of their tanks just a little bit bigger to accommodate my stretches. If not…well, I could always just spend my afternoon nap in there. Yoga is so hard…