Goodness, it’s Raining Gargoyles

roof restoration MelbourneOr perhaps rendering can wait. That’s the thing about owning a larger-than-usual home: problems are grander in scale and more expensive to fix! You’re probably aware that we’ve been having some windy weather recently, though not any more than normal for this time of year. In any case, I’ve been so preoccupied with the business side of things leading up to Christmas that I neglected certain aspects of the upkeep. I had hoped Cecelia might have kept me informed, given how much time she spent around the house, but…well, she spends so much time glued to that screen.

The gargoyle that sits above the terrace had been threatening to fall for months…and finally, it gave way. We awoke to find our summer breakfast spot with a large hole in the roof, shattered pieces of gargoyle all around. Of course, Melbourne’s roof restoration is a business with which I’m rather familiar, as I’m rather familiar with just about any business. Knowing business is my business. Still, there is now a gargoyle-shaped hole in the roof, and I’m wondering if it’s time to scrap the structure altogether. I had always envisioned a glass dome around the terrace, rather like a conservatory. It may be quite uninhabitable in summer, but would make an excellent winter retreat with a bit of under-floor heating to keep the place warm.

Such choices. Keep the terrace and have the roof restored, or construct a conservatory? I am a man of change; if I see an opportunity to renovate rather than simply fix, I must take it. It is within my nature to expand. The only problem is that Cecelia adores the terrace and its view over the grounds.

In any case, I think I shall still call for roof maintenance. Melbourne weather is a fickle thing, and I want to make sure there are no repeats of the gargoyle incident. I now find myself casting suspicious glances at Gregorian and Leonidas, the twin lions that sit atop the entrance hall. I don’t want a brisk wind causing us to have to use the side entrance for a month!

-Percival Clancey III

Politicians aim to clean up the streets

carpet cleaningA prominent politician has managed to pass a bizarre bill through the lower court, which states that all visitors to the city must remove their shoes before entering carpeted areas.

The shoe rule is only one of a number of new rules attached to the bill, which proposes sweeping changes to the levels of cleanliness within the city area.

“It’s for everyone’s good, we’re saving carpets from stains,” says Gregor Royal, the politician who drafted and introduced the bill. “Under the new legislation, visitors will remove their shoes before entering a carpeted area, as is polite. A common sight will be carpet cleaning in Melbourne with their dry clean machine-powered efficiency. Anyone wishing to browse a government owned building must consent to being sterilized before entering.”

Mr Royal has stated that this is only the first stage in a number of bills that will render the Melbourne CBD the cleanest city in the world. Currently, tens of thousands of bottles of hand sanitiser have been ordered to be distributed to every citizen, and measurements are being taken to help the city to accommodate the fleet of carpet cleaners that are soon to be hitting the streets.

Though the bill was initially stated to have very little chance of being passed, politicians have reported that a stirring speech from Mr Royal brought many of them around. “He made us see the benefits of having carpet dry cleaning,” Melbourne lower court politician Sarah Kane said. “After all, we all hate it when something of ours gets dirty. Just the thought of people tromping around with their muddy boots shouldn’t be tolerated. Treat all areas as if it were our own carpet.”

Residents have been advised to avoid the streets during the testing period, as the fleet of cleaners will be working on a number of intersections with their trial cleaning.

Baby steps at the podiatrist

podiatrist CheltenhamAs a parent, keeping yourself safe and healthy is one of the best ways to ensure that your child grows up healthy and safe as well. One of the most overlooked factors when a child is injured is the health and wellbeing of the caring parent at the time. Keeping yourself well comes down to taking care of your body.

A common area that many people overlook is the feet. Think about it, most parents are on their feet all day long running around after their children. Your feet are the cornerstone of your entire skeletal system, and it’s what helps keep us moving. By keeping a close eye on your feet, you can ensure a greater chance that you can keep your child safer.

Caring for your feet is about knowing your limits and being vigilant. By keeping an eye out for potentially foot injuring activities, and making sure to see a foot specialist in Cheltenham should a problem arise, you can mitigate most of the risks.

I myself had a lot of foot problem when I was younger. I admit that I was not my best at that time and I did not go and seek the help of a podiatrist, a point of weakness that I regret. Luckily, there has not been any long term serious issues with my feet. I do need to see the foot doctor on occasion to take care of Ingrown toe nails. Cheltenham has a fantastic foot clinic that my whole family goes to. I would urge any parents, or parent to be, to seek the help of a foot specialist if you have any concerns. Especially if you are pregnant, seeing a podiatrist can be a great way to relieve pain and to ensure that you are doing everything you can for the health of both you and your baby. See the help of a professional podiatrist.