The wonders of software courses

software development MelbourneWhat an age in which we live. Such a time, full of technology and scholarly progress, where technology is swiftly taking the place of man! Well, maybe not the ‘place’…but I do love my self-serve checkouts. There always needs to be that human nanny hovering over them and scanning their little cards when someone/thing stuffs up, but they’re a great boon to supermarkets. Human interaction is truly a minefield.

That’s why this new app is just me all over, and I’ve had the privilege of being a beta tester! It’s the result of three years of effort on the part of a few geniuses, coming together from software development courses, web design, app design and a few more disciplines. It looks amazing, it’s totally discreet and it works. It really works. Basically, you just put your phone on the table during a date, having activated the app beforehand. You ask a few leading questions- they don’t even have to be direct- and the app analyses all of their answers and gives you an accurate view of that person’s true personality. Because no one is their true self during a date, right? It’s all a bit superficial, trying to be the funniest and most charming version of yourself regardless of whether that’s actually you.

And then the date ends. Before you can go back to wherever you live and get total sucked into how wonderful and magical this person is, you can review what the app has said about them. The one time I’ve tried it, the app told me that he was a political leftist, he has residual maternal issues, is likely overprotective of his game consoles and believes that cats have souls. Yick! Lucky escape!

The app is having trouble getting off the ground due to accusations of inaccuracy, or something…maybe privacy as well. All I can say is that it makes ME want to take up a course in web design somewhere in Melbourne. Apps that judge people? I’ve got to be a part of this.

I just need to talk about ice skating

ice skating instructorIt runs in my blood, I tell you. Like, there’s ice in my blood, but not in any of the bad ways. Like, I’m a pretty nice person, but ice skating is in my blood and I have to talk about it, sometimes even when other people are talking. Isn’t that odd? That’s rather odd, yeah, but we all have our passions.
Now, it’s my dream to one day be an ice skating instructor, because I can’t think of much else that would be better than passing on my knowledge. I suppose the only problem there is that I’m a terrible teacher overall. I just keep talking about myself, and how I managed to accomplish this or that…and I genuinely think that I’m doing some good. Like, if this student gets what I did, first hand from the source, it’ll all click! Except that’s not so much how people work. Everyone learns differently, and see how I totally get that outside of lessons? I can say that, but the few times I’ve taught have ended in light disaster. There was that one girl who flew over from Russia to be taught by the Yugoslavian fellow. He was off ill with some kind of yellow flu, or blue flu, or some other coloured flu. Anyway, i was the next most senior ice-skating expert, so they told me to show her some of the moves. I performed all of them flawlessly, then asked her to try. Now, she was a prodigy in the making, but not quite there yet…and she was only six. Perhaps a quadruple aerial spin followed by a skating no-hands cartwheel and finishing with performing the splits and jumping up into a flourish was a bit too advanced. She tried and failed, so I thought I’d regale her with some of my tales of how I strove to learn this move. Forty-five minutes later, I’d just finished the tale of how I got caught in a snowdrift trying to rescue an arctic fox in the middle of a meditation session on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro when she said she had to go home. Boom, ice skating lessons were over for the day and she hadn’t learned a thing. I can be terrible. But at least I KNOW I can be terrible, so…I can be better.

The joy of colour in the garden

gladioliWith springtime just around the corner, a great and long held tradition is sneaking up on me. Every year without fail since I was a little girl, my mum and I have gone to our favourite garden shop to find the plants of the season. I know most people just buy all the plants for their house when they move in, and then only do a little maintenance when required, but where’s the fun in that? Mum gave me a love of gardening, and she’s not the kind of person who’s happy to look at the same thing day in, day out her whole life. She wants something different, and I can’t say I blame her.

This year, it’s all about the gladioli. Mum’s a huge fan of having an explosive pop of colour or two, just to liven the place up, but despite that she’s never gone down the hyacinth road. It’s actually quite strange that she hasn’t. I mean, over the years, mum’s grown almost every type of flower imaginable in that garden of hers, from alstromeria to zephyranthes, but never has she had a hyacinth. Not that she’s got anything against them, just that it’s never seemed to happen. Either they’d run out of stock or she’d found something online beforehand and decided that she just had to have it. Even when that is the case, and mum knows exactly what she wants before we even go to the nursery, it’s still an experience to go there. I just love wandering through the aisles, looking at all the different types of Summer flowering bulbs and seedlings that will one day grow into a big and strong plant all in their own right. It doesn’t even matter that I don’t live at home anymore, it’s really just a fun mother-daughter activity we do once a year.

App Storm In A Teacup

app design coursesMe and my GF are going to take the technology world by storm. Yeah, so, anyway…technology. Specifically gaming, because the gaming industry is the largest and most financially lucrative industry in the world. They just started offering entire app design courses here in Melbourne (or have they been doing that for a while?) where people can genuinely, for real learn all about apps. And gams! There are game design courses!

Alright, I’m stating the obvious, but what I really should be stating is our plan. July (that’s ‘July’, like the month) and I met on a dating app, and we bonded over our love of mobile gaming. There’s a big market for this stuff, hence why so many people are studying it. But do you know what instantly makes everything better? More labels! It’s culturally proven that the more genres a movie has, the better it is, until the whole thing is just an undefined genre soup. We want to take everything we learned in our respective game design and app design courses to create…the perfect app. It would be a sort of dating app on the surface, but also one that allows casual friendships, like Visage-Tome. You’d interact while playing games, which would reveal a lot about someone if they were a stranger…but also, at the same time, people have to progress through the levels by sharing photos, details about themselves and their aspirations.

Oh, it gets better. See, certain challenges require you to perform rigorous physical activity to progress in your friendship, while others need you to do some quick research on the stock market, or the divisions of Poland. It’s trivia, current events, history, dating, gaming, exercise and friendship, all in one app! No one with a course in app development has attempted such a feat. We’ll soon be tech tycoons, July and I.

Skating the issue of a corporate function

corporate venuesYep, they must be running out of ideas by now. Just too many…things. All the same.

Hmm? I’ve been really absent-minded lately. I know I’ve been getting to sleep at a good and decent time, I’ve been eating very well and I’ve been very productive at work. That last one is the most important, obviously. But still, whenever I’m not at work I just feel listless. The shows I used to watch aren’t too exciting any more, and as for my family, I just don’t find myself rushing home to see them. Funny, that used to be so important. I guess working for Lawrence Corp is really the only thing left.

And we really do have a good time at work. We’re worked hard, but of course, it’s okay when you’re working for the good of the company. Then we get to let off steam at one of the company functions, held at Melbourne’s most prestigious party venues, complete with such entertainment options as ice skating rinks. I don’t…think we used the ice skating last time. We just hung around in the one function room and had a very good time that was very good indeed. No, really…such a good time. Fun, conversation, good things, lots of punch and good things, as well as conversation. I mean, I can’t remember what we talked about…we just had some good conversations, I remember that much.

It’s odd, because I used to have such a good memory, even for little details. In fact…it’s what makes me good at my job. Maybe this function room was so good I just sort of lost myself a bit, which I suppose is a great sign. That’s what the events are for, after all! We need loosen up a little bit, or we’ll go mad.

Yeah, bit fuzzy though. I do remember the punch tasting a bit metallic, but it wasn’t like I had any trouble driving myself home. I just really wanted to get back to work, you know? Melbourne and its corporate function venues are good, and nice, really good, but I know I should be working. We’ve got some very important work to do.