All That Scaffolding Looks Terribly Heavy

aluminium work platformsI do so dislike the mansion needing work. It’s Whitehall Chamber! Our beloved home needs no improvement! Sadly, sometimes it does, and quite urgently as well. I was spending some time in lounge number five, which has slightly more space than loung number six but the chairs are closer to the heater than in loung number nine (making it my favourite) when I was greatly disturbed by smashing windows and and great thump in tandem.

I immediately leapt from my chair in a great fright, forgetting entirely the episode of Week of Our Lives that had demanded my attention only seconds prior, and saw that the old oak had finally come down in the wind. Percy kept saying that we needed to do something about that old thing, but business kept him terribly busy.

So now there are aluminium work platforms blocking out the view of lounge number five, which is a great shame because if I want to be just the right temperature and closeness to the television in lounge number eleven, I have to call Sebastian to come and move the chair for me. Even then, I can still hear the men on their work platforms! Lounge sixteen is the furthest away, but I wasn’t allowed to pick the cushions and thus Percy chose a strange lime that I think clashes horribly with most of my wardrobe.

In any case, it’s a good thing the old oak didn’t come straight through the window. No, it was only a few stray branches, with some damage to the wall. That’s what they said, anyway. Our walls are very high, which I suppose is why they decided to drag along all those heavy-looking fibreglass ladders. Terribly scary stuff, clambering all over those things so terribly high. Reminds me of the latest episode of Week of Our Lives, where Reece was rock-climbing when his schizophrenia/split personalities came back…oh, I need to catch up!!


The ute is gone along with the toolboxes

aluminium ute toolbxoesI just bought a brand new ute with the insurance money that I got from when my old ute got broken into and stolen. I know that material possessions shouldn’t mean anything to us, since we are in essence only material possessions ourselves. We live this life, then we are no more. For all of existence, except for the tiny speck of a speck of a grain of sand we call a lifetime. We are insignificant and at the same time, the most significant beings in existence.

We are made of stardust created billions of years ago. Compost, in the heap of the universe. I guess that’s why this life is so important to us. We know it is so fleeting, that we will protect it. That’s why I wanted to protect my tools, by using aluminium toolboxes. That way, if there was ever a problem, I could help them by keeping them safe.

This was not the case on the night before last. I had gone to bed early that night since I had a big day the next day, but I also thought, in my own funny feeling kind of way, that we were in trouble.

My senses must have been on the ball because that night we got broken into. They took the ute, and I lost all of my tools, which were safely locked away in the toolbox. I’m going to miss those aluminium toolboxes, Melbourne tradies should all have them installed. On this new ute, which I’m about to kit out, I will have a brand new aluminium ute toolbox installed on it, so that I can keep trying to protect that which I hold dear to me. I’ll never get back what was stolen from me. I’ll never be able to the same as I was before. For better or for worse, I’ve changed now, and there is no going back. I will be a different ute owner, and a different person from here on in. I want my aluminium accessories to remember that.

The Fair Kingdom, To Be Removed?

tree loppingOh dear! My fairy kingdom!

Father says the copse of trees down near the lake is being removed to make way for a silly old golf course, and I think it’s so terribly rotten. When I have school chums over, or just when I’m by myself and in the mood, I’d often travel down there and pretend I’m in a magical fairy kingdom deep in the woods. Of course, sometimes it does not feel like pretending at all, because it really is rather magical down there with a spring and a clearing of tree stumps and a tree that grants wishes, really.

I am thinking of protesting. It is what the common people do when they do not have enough money to simply make a problem go away. Once Daddy’s Melbourne tree lopping people arrive, I shall have built myself a treehouse covered in slogans that support the environment and declare the fairies and woodland folk should be free from industry. And I shall refuse to come down until the tree removal people go and remove trees elsewhere! Or rather, I shall only come down for the essentials, such as meals, going to bed, attending school (with extracurricular activities) and other social events that require my attention. Otherwise, I shall be in my treehouse, facing down the tree lopping folks and giving them my best eagle eye that I was taught by Frau Sauer, my extremely terrifying and commanding European Languages teacher. We always dedicated several minutes at the end of each tutoring session for such things; it was from Frau Sauer that I learned that all men are scum and women should be in charge of the world, which I found rather fascinating even if I feel it warrants further investigation.

Perhaps another time. For now, I must take on the Melbourne tree removal industry and win. Perhaps they will be too busy and will not be able to come? I shall live in hope…since I do not think I even know how to make a treehouse. It gets awfully windy up there.


To Render, or Not to Render?

Melbourne concrete renderingI am most certainly not one to ‘splash out’, despite what you may think. I don’t run a successful business empire because I was willing to spend money willy-nilly; no, I’ve built the Clancey family fortune by working hard, saving pennies and being amazingly brilliant at my job, if I do say so myself. Which I do. I say it magnificently, because I have a full knowledge of my own talents. Any man who does not cannot be expected to succeed.

There has only come a single time when I considered a major indulgence. The yachts, the rolls, the stain glass windows and extension to living room eighteen…all, I considered necessary investments. However, after becoming interested in the industry, I had an inclination towards rendering. Melbourne rendering is a popular service amongst those wishing to give their home a chic edge. Now, Whitehall is a marvellous piece of structural beauty, but even I have to admit that some of the design is archaic. Concrete rendering might give it a do-over that I consider to be highly necessary. The only thing holding me back was the size of the structure, and thus the cost. The mansion is many times larger than a regular home, or even a regular mansion, and this rendering the entire thing would be like asking the same of a skyscraper. I had considered only having the visible parts done, but that will simply not do. Sometimes my clients and I go on hunting trips on the grounds, and when riding back they shall clearly see that the rear of the mansion remains un-rendered. It would be an abomination indeed. Thus, I must make the decision. It is, as they say, all or nothing.

It does look rather majestic. My business associate over in Sorrento had his beach home rendered for the viewing pleasure of all coastal visitors. This was what made me interested in Melbourne’s concrete rendering industry. Perhaps I can get a quote…

-Percival Clancey III

Perhaps Styling Could Fill the Time

property stagingI just get so bored hanging round the house, sometimes. I say sometimes because there are other times when I’m completely engrossed in Week of Our Lives. It’s very engrossing! And then there are the times when I’m just head over heels for Next Door People, and if not that it becomes House and Not There. But in those moments in between I just tend to wander around, maybe feed the horses, have a choir brought in from the city to sing to me, go out on the jet-ski, lounge around on the beach, have a ski slope set up on the grounds and slide down a few times, go for a helicopter ride, host a diner party, host a tea party or just hop in the buggy and visit the family burial ground down by the lake.

It’s rather empty. I had Margaretta over yesterday, and SHE said she’s filling in her time with a bit of property staging. Her husband Fitzroy is a bit of a property mogul, like my Percy, and she helps him out by going to people’s houses and telling them what they need to do to sell the place at its maximum value. Things like replacing the curtains in the drawing room and installing a new security system on the gates that includes retinal scans instead of just boring old fingerprint. Sounds terribly exciting! I’m well into my soaps, but Margaretta has always gravitated towards the renovation shows. You know, Banned Design (where people try to add illegal things to their houses, like laser tripwires), Ann Tique’s Road Show (about that nice lady Ann who busks on her local high street every day for a living) and Vocation, Vacation, Vocation, the show about people going on holidays that are far too expensive for their budget and job and how they struggle to make ends meet after they get back.

Not really my thing, but Margaretta has gotten all her property styling knowledge from watching them nonstop. I know for a fact that Percy works with property stylists, because he has meetings and…well, it’s to do with property. He has fingers in ALL those pies. So, is Melbourne’s home styling industry ready for one more? I’m sure Percy could make it happen. Anything but staying bored!


Goodness, it’s Raining Gargoyles

roof restoration MelbourneOr perhaps rendering can wait. That’s the thing about owning a larger-than-usual home: problems are grander in scale and more expensive to fix! You’re probably aware that we’ve been having some windy weather recently, though not any more than normal for this time of year. In any case, I’ve been so preoccupied with the business side of things leading up to Christmas that I neglected certain aspects of the upkeep. I had hoped Cecelia might have kept me informed, given how much time she spent around the house, but…well, she spends so much time glued to that screen.

The gargoyle that sits above the terrace had been threatening to fall for months…and finally, it gave way. We awoke to find our summer breakfast spot with a large hole in the roof, shattered pieces of gargoyle all around. Of course, Melbourne’s roof restoration is a business with which I’m rather familiar, as I’m rather familiar with just about any business. Knowing business is my business. Still, there is now a gargoyle-shaped hole in the roof, and I’m wondering if it’s time to scrap the structure altogether. I had always envisioned a glass dome around the terrace, rather like a conservatory. It may be quite uninhabitable in summer, but would make an excellent winter retreat with a bit of under-floor heating to keep the place warm.

Such choices. Keep the terrace and have the roof restored, or construct a conservatory? I am a man of change; if I see an opportunity to renovate rather than simply fix, I must take it. It is within my nature to expand. The only problem is that Cecelia adores the terrace and its view over the grounds.

In any case, I think I shall still call for roof maintenance. Melbourne weather is a fickle thing, and I want to make sure there are no repeats of the gargoyle incident. I now find myself casting suspicious glances at Gregorian and Leonidas, the twin lions that sit atop the entrance hall. I don’t want a brisk wind causing us to have to use the side entrance for a month!

-Percival Clancey III

Politicians aim to clean up the streets

carpet cleaningA prominent politician has managed to pass a bizarre bill through the lower court, which states that all visitors to the city must remove their shoes before entering carpeted areas.

The shoe rule is only one of a number of new rules attached to the bill, which proposes sweeping changes to the levels of cleanliness within the city area.

“It’s for everyone’s good, we’re saving carpets from stains,” says Gregor Royal, the politician who drafted and introduced the bill. “Under the new legislation, visitors will remove their shoes before entering a carpeted area, as is polite. A common sight will be carpet cleaning in Melbourne with their dry clean machine-powered efficiency. Anyone wishing to browse a government owned building must consent to being sterilized before entering.”

Mr Royal has stated that this is only the first stage in a number of bills that will render the Melbourne CBD the cleanest city in the world. Currently, tens of thousands of bottles of hand sanitiser have been ordered to be distributed to every citizen, and measurements are being taken to help the city to accommodate the fleet of carpet cleaners that are soon to be hitting the streets.

Though the bill was initially stated to have very little chance of being passed, politicians have reported that a stirring speech from Mr Royal brought many of them around. “He made us see the benefits of having carpet dry cleaning,” Melbourne lower court politician Sarah Kane said. “After all, we all hate it when something of ours gets dirty. Just the thought of people tromping around with their muddy boots shouldn’t be tolerated. Treat all areas as if it were our own carpet.”

Residents have been advised to avoid the streets during the testing period, as the fleet of cleaners will be working on a number of intersections with their trial cleaning.

Baby steps at the podiatrist

podiatrist CheltenhamAs a parent, keeping yourself safe and healthy is one of the best ways to ensure that your child grows up healthy and safe as well. One of the most overlooked factors when a child is injured is the health and wellbeing of the caring parent at the time. Keeping yourself well comes down to taking care of your body.

A common area that many people overlook is the feet. Think about it, most parents are on their feet all day long running around after their children. Your feet are the cornerstone of your entire skeletal system, and it’s what helps keep us moving. By keeping a close eye on your feet, you can ensure a greater chance that you can keep your child safer.

Caring for your feet is about knowing your limits and being vigilant. By keeping an eye out for potentially foot injuring activities, and making sure to see a foot specialist in Cheltenham should a problem arise, you can mitigate most of the risks.

I myself had a lot of foot problem when I was younger. I admit that I was not my best at that time and I did not go and seek the help of a podiatrist, a point of weakness that I regret. Luckily, there has not been any long term serious issues with my feet. I do need to see the foot doctor on occasion to take care of Ingrown toe nails. Cheltenham has a fantastic foot clinic that my whole family goes to. I would urge any parents, or parent to be, to seek the help of a foot specialist if you have any concerns. Especially if you are pregnant, seeing a podiatrist can be a great way to relieve pain and to ensure that you are doing everything you can for the health of both you and your baby. See the help of a professional podiatrist.

I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside…

Lorne luxury hotelI should very much like to go away again. Going away is so delightful. I think while the boats are being fixed that option is off the cards, but we could always stay landlocked and go to one of the many hotels Father owns. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever been to a hotel that Father does not own, so there’s that to consider.

I don’t really know…Daddy’s business goes right over my head, and whenever I ask he tells me to go and play with my dolls. Still, he has promised me my own holiday getaway when I turn sixteen, even though that is many years away, and I have my sights set on Lorne. The Luxury accommodation there is simply marvellous, though I don’t think our family owns anything there currently. Quite a number of my school chums have spoken about what exciting times they’ve had there, so I don’t see why not. I’ve heard the beaches are excellent for shells and rock pools, which despite Mummy’s constant warnings I simply adore exploring. Perhaps there will also be caves to venture into. Caves filled with treasure and smugglers, and a group of us from school will end up getting the smugglers arrested and we shall be the town heroes!

I’ve been reading about such things in my Edith Blighty books. Those children and their dog are always getting themselves into such exciting situations involving smugglers and lashings of ginger beer…it makes one want to jump into the books and go adventuring alongside them! Though Mummy said I shouldn’t wish such things, being a lady and such, and I should focus on my education. I’m afraid I cannot help imagining. I will own my beach apartment in Lorne, and me and my friend shall have such adventures, even if they and my friends are all imaginary. Imaginary is the best kind of thing, I think.


Getting the Family Back on the Boat!

outboard motor repair companyI keep telling Percy he needs to take a break. Golly, we ALL need to take a little break once in a while! We haven’t been out sailing in forever, and now the weather’s getting better it’s the perfect opportunity. I’ve been trying to decide which of our yachts we should take on a sail around the coast, if I ever manage to pry Percy away from his office. The Majestica is my favourite, mostly because we had the bar installed right outside the cabins and there’s always a carrot juice available when you need one.

Oh, but that one’s gone into the shop. Something about a problem with the anchor winch. Melbourne professionals deal with all these boat details and I can never keep up. We just give them the keys and tell them to sort it out while we pick from another of our boats. No need to fill my head with all kinds of information I don’t need. Well, maybe one day if we were shipwrecked, but…we have GPS now! So I don’t even need to worry about a thing.

Well, my second-favourite is the Jillian, named after Percival’s mother. That’s a bit odd for me, because I ruly hated Jillian with a passion. Always in our business, always hovering around and dropping hints that I wasn’t good enough for the family. I suppose I got my revenge in the end, because I married into the family and she’s dead now. But Percy loved his mother, so he decked out the boat with all the modern conveniences and made is properly stately. The carrot juice just never tastes as good there, however. The WiFi is just awful.

I seem to remember us going sailing a lot more when the children were younger. Perhaps Percy just had a bit less on his plate then…whereas now I have to content myself with soaps. Perhaps I can make Melbourne’s outboard motor repair a pet project of mine, just so I can guess when my favourite boat will be ready to sail. Have a look on the Google, perhaps. But then it’d be a matter of GETTING my husband on the boat. Or out of the office at all.