Unbelievable.
My mother is a mess. Honestly, most of the time I have no idea what she’s doing. It’s like she’s had this huge mental break and decided that she’s just going to be completely irrational. I guess it probably has something to do with the fact that dad’s just married Sal, but honestly, she’s a grown woman and this is ridiculous.
She Snapchatted me on Thursday (becoming a fervent social media user is just one of the many symptoms of her new madness) showing me a picture of her getting an anti wrinkle injection in Melbourne. Just a quick disclaimer: I have nothing against getting anti wrinkle injections, or any kind of cosmetic surgery for that matter. In fact, I’m all for self-love and self-care and taking care of you and your needs. But here is a woman with two maxed credit cards who is struggling to make rent spending way in excess of her means. Honestly, she’s like a child with absolutely no conception of responsibilities. Actually, she knows she has responsibilities, she just doesn’t seem to care anymore. I mean, last month it she was telling me all about her dermal fillers – Melbourne high society’s newest trend, apparently – and just a short month later she’s getting some kind of botox? It’s all just madness, plain and simple.
Here’s the problem, though. I don’t want to be the one bailing her out. When they split, I vowed to be the neutral party, but if mother begins to lean on me a little too heavily, everything becomes unequal and I know that if I try and spend more time with dad to even it out a little, mum will get mad. She’s basically pushing me into a lose-lose situation here: either I do nothing and watch her accrue debt until she drowns in it, or I step in to help and alienate my father. So yeah. Thanks mum.
That we must cater to Mother’s TV whims is rather tiresome. If you ask me, television is a distraction from the truly important things in life, such as making enormous amounts of money and making oneself look presentable for business partners, so that one may go on to seal deals and make enormous amounts of money. Mother fritters away so much of her time on the idiot box that I wonder what effect it has on her psyche. I shall have to ask Andronicus, my Thursday tutor.
Archibald went to a party yesterday. Now, I’m quite used to parties involving violins, live dance troupes, French canapes and light conversation over seafood. Personally, I find it all a little bit tiresome; just once I’d like a group of school chums over for a good chat, and maybe some of this ‘fish and chips’ business that commoners talk about all the time. It sounds rather scrumptious, I must say.
Daddy says that our anti-insect system in the mansion is ‘state-of-the-art’. I will have to ask my tutor, Copernicus, what that actually means, because I simply can’t make head or tail of it. He was on edge for a frightfully long time after Mummy discovered ants in the bread bin. The whole place was in an uproar, so much so that I had my friend Matilda over for a playdate and we had to go out on the grounds to one of our treehouses to escape the ruckus.
I was channel surfing today, which I usually do right after lunch when I’m a bit tired from playing croquet with the girls or taking a helicopter tour. We just bought the deluxe gold platinum ultra shiny premium plus package, so we have ALL the channels and sometimes surfing through them all can take an entire afternoon. I mean, really. It’s time-consuming!
Typical: you order your windows from an esteemed Estonian company, have them shipped over specially and then at the first sign of a storm, they all show themselves to be worthless. This was meant to be quality European double-glazing, and now the study window has blown in. My red-grade files were almost ruined by the rain.
Golly, technology certainly moves apace! I try to stay out of the study- that’s Percy’s private space, and all those filing systems just confuse me- but when I’m passing I can hear him talk about all kinds of things. Then there’s the dinner table conversation, most of which I just smile and nod at because Percy and Archie just talk business while Madeira and I talk about the latest fashion when they get properly engrossed.
As a life coach I have seen it all. From career breakdowns to marriage failures. I have been there in the best of times and the worst of times. I am here today to dispense some wisdom about studying in later life. I get many clients who tell me how stuck they feel and how frightened they are of retraining in a new area by going back to school. My latest trauma came in the form of a woman wanting to get as far away from the corporate life as possible and follow a childhood dream of becoming a makeup artist.
I’m so excited I can barely breathe. After applying for months and months for any and every job out there on the market, someone has finally decided to give me a go. Well, they haven’t hired me yet exactly, but I’m meeting with a guy, and that’s the most I’ve heard back from anyone in months. And it’s not just any old job either, it’s an amazing job. My dream job, in fact. I would get to work at one of the best nurseries in Melbourne!